Rest Resources

I put together some rest resources that you can return to again and again on your journey to becoming more well rested.

First, I’d like to tell you a true story about how I became the author, rest coach, and restorative thought leader that I am.

My body literally gave out. I was in my early 30s.

If you’ve read the introduction to Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change you know that it was being hospitalized for a rare illness that almost turned fatal, coupled with dehydration, undernourishment, overworking, complete fatigue and exhaustion that awakened me to my physiological need for rest.

Outwardly I was at my most fit, "healthiest" by the most superficial standards, and my external "glow up" was snap + YAAASSSS worthy. That body still gave out and this prompted my inquiry and practice into the power of rest. Again, I was in my early 30s and what looked like "tip top shape."

What I didn’t share in the book is that just a few weeks before that hospitalization I fell asleep at a red light while leaving my “day job” and rushing to what, back then, I proudly called my “side hustle.” I don’t use the word hustle so freely, leisurely, or proudly anymore.

So there I was. In the middle of Atlanta, asleep at one of the rare places I paused back then, a red light. A blaring horn startled me and woke me up.

What I didn't write about in the book is how desperate I felt when I woke up and the light turned green, demanding that I go on. I almost cried at that traffic light because I was so tired and felt like the only way I could stop was if I had a big bold red signal to tell me to. I could not possibly give myself permission to do so otherwise. I had such limited capacity for rest unless an accident, illness, or tragedy forced me to do it and still... My worth was completely tied to my work. I was so out of touch with my own power and ability to say no to work and others that I couldn’t give myself permission to rest. I didn’t believe I owned my own permission, so I couldn't grant it to myself. Now, ain’t that some shit. Whew!

"The pain of healing is uncomfortable.
It is also temporary.”

- Dr. Gail Parker

Here’s the thing. Even after all of that- the hospital, sleeping in traffic at a red light, and other physical indicators of my exhaustion and need for sleep and rest, my mind was so resistant and rebellious to rest. In other words, despite the obvious threat to my life and wellbeing that lack of rest caused me, my mind was still caught in an incessant cycle of fear around slowing down, pausing, resting, and being.

My nervous system was hijacked by lived experience and conditioning; work 10 times as hard, for a fraction of a chance. Blood deep, bone deep ancestral and past memory of life threatening consequences for taking rest, and not producing on someone else’s land and time seemed to propelled my mind forward even when my body was clearly breaking down. Visceral fear of being called or seen as lazy dictated that I pushed my limits around output in order to try and relieve myself of that worry.

Within all of this I became increasingly curious about the disconnect between my external and internal landscape. The disconnect between my body and mind. My body had clearly said “stop, no more. We are in pain and tired.” Yet my mind raced, kept going, and made plans for more work and more working out. My mind wouldn’t stop creating things to do even when my body said “Shawty, I’m done.”

Dr. Gail Parker’s research, writing, and teaching about ethnic and race based stress, trauma, and injury and how restorative practices can be powerful tools to address this particular kind of trauma for us all gave me a portal of understanding that the wiring to work myself to the bone and resulting weariness that I carried in me was older than me.

What if your weariness and wiring is older than you?

What if a reservoir of respite and a pathway to healing is both within and older than you too?

What if rest is the way to truly begin that process?

On one level, resting is nourishing and feels good.

On another level, rest can be excavating. Resting on the earth is an unearthing. It can be confrontational in the way that feelings and wounds emerge to be healed when we allow them space and time. It is one reason many "never have the time" to rest. That's like saying you never have time to heal.

Pre hospitalization, I repeatedly chose the pain of my conditioning- work more, go harder, can’t stop, won’t stop. Get. the. Bag. at all costs.

Pre falling asleep in the middle of traffic I repeatedly chose the pain of pure exhaustion until I almost passed out. I repeatedly chose the pain and overwhelm that comes from overworking and keeping myself totally busy because it was, at least, a known.

Can you relate to that?

Slow down? Pause? Rest? Be? Umm...This is not the norm. It is culturally unacceptable in some work places to actually use your vacation, time off, or even take a sick day so talmbout (talking about;) and actually slowing down. Pausing. Resting. Being? It’s unacceptable in many of our families to say “I love you and right now, I just can’t do that for you or I’m tired and need to rest first.” Though the discomfort that we experience when we make a shift that supports healing or enforces a new boundary is temporary, it still takes courage to initiate this kind of change.

The woman who wrote Pause, Rest, Be has always lived within me, and I did not accept and become her overnight.

A decade plus of living, resting, awakening, redefining work, and navigating the discomfort + shifts of healing informs every single word of the book.

Over a decade of making brave choices that go against cultural/systemic/ familial conditioning and the status quo as it relates to how I rest/work informs it.

Why am I saying all of this today?

Because I want you to know that pausing and resting take practice and I consider this- pausing, resting, and being - a lifelong practice. It’s not a trend to me. It’s more than a hashtag or even book title. It's a lifelong practice. You feel me?

We can talk about it. Read about it. Listen to every podcast about rest. At some point we have to embody it. We have to practice it. We have to shut down all of the distractions and go lay down. It’s not something that is always going to be convenient. It will always be necessary.

Why am I saying all of this?

Because I want you to know I don’t say “Pause, Rest, Be” lightly. It is both the battle call and the surrender. I say it with embodied awareness that it will cause you to confront something within yourself, belief system, "the system", and habits that you’ve probably spent some time avoiding. If you are a leader in your workplace or organization it will bring you to a growth edge to consider and then experience how rest empowers your leadership, vision, and relationships with your teams. I say all of this knowing full well the courage required to pause, rest, be. I say it because I want you to ponder this:

What if pausing for a minute is what’s urgent, not your inbox?
What if resting for five minutes is what’s urgent, not your next meeting, routine, or workout?
What if being is what’s urgent, not constantly doing?
What if taking better care of ourselves and each other is what’s urgent, not chasing _______________(you fill in the blanket.)
What if yielding to the urgency of self and communal care creates more space, resource, and time? Not less.

What if taking better care of ourselves and each other is what’s urgent?

Breathe. Pause and sit with this question for one full minute.

See here’s the thing. I know that taking better care of ourselves and each other is what is urgent and that rest is an accessible and potent form of care for every one of us. I know it yields more space and time. I wake up and remember this daily. I invite you to do the same and here are some complimentary practices to do so.

Rest with these resources and please share them. My only ask is that you credit + link back to octaviaraheem.com

Rest Resources

Rest Resource 1

Grab a cup of tea or a nice drink and sit somewhere with minimal distraction. Listen to the audio/ introduction of Pause, Rest, Be and simply take in what you hear. Journal for 1-2 minutes afterwards.

LISTEN
Rest Resource 2

Soma Nidra: This is an extended rest practice that is nourishing, restorative, and can feel like you rested for 2-3 hours even though it's only 26 minutes.

LISTEN
Rest Resource 3

Here are some songs that I find particularly restorative. You can listen to them in the morning, on the go, or when you need to remember that you don’t have to earn rest, you are already worthy of it.

LISTEN
Rest Resource 4

Pause Practice: Sometimes you have a few minutes and that’s all you need to access the power of the pause and leverage it to reset, renew, and gain clarity. Here’s one of my favorite practices.
Tips: try it for 21 consecutive days and take notes/ notice the impact it has in your life.

LISTEN
Rest Resource 5

Rest and Let Go in less than 10 minutes.
Do you ever feel yourself holding on so tightly to an idea, a stressor, a situation, a problem, or even a person? Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck, stagnate, and unable to access your natural flow and brilliance. Is something just ugh and killing your vibe at home or work? Here’s a 10 minute rest meditation to support you in letting go and getting unstuck.

LISTEN